There comes a point in some home searches when we need to have a slightly uncomfortable conversation. You've been looking for months. You check every new listing. We've toured houses, rejected houses and waited patiently for the one. But nothing seems to work.
At some point, we have to ask: is the right house really not coming on the market, or are we asking the market to give us something that probably doesn't exist within our budget?
The Wish List vs. the Budget
Most buyers start with a list of things they'd like: four bedrooms, a rancher, a crawl space, half an acre, a big shop, in town, under $900,000. There's nothing wrong with wanting all of those things. The problem is that the combination may not be realistic.
Maybe $900,000 gets you three bedrooms, a quarter acre and a shop in town. Maybe it gets you four bedrooms and half an acre outside town, but no shop. Maybe you can have the rancher, location and property size, but the house needs updating.
And maybe the unicorn really does appear. But if you've already been looking for six months and haven't seen one, waiting another six months doesn't necessarily make it more likely.
That's when the question needs to change from "When will the right house come along?" to "What actually matters most to me?"
Need to Have, Must Have, and Nice to Have
I like buyers to separate their criteria into three categories.
Must Haves: The things that genuinely affect whether the home will work for you.
Strong Preferences: Things that are important and worth prioritizing, but could potentially be compromised.
Nice to Haves: Things you would love, but shouldn't cause you to walk away from an otherwise great home.
The hard part is being honest about which category something belongs in. If you need four bedrooms because you have three children living at home, four bedrooms may genuinely be a must-have. But if the fourth bedroom is for guests who visit twice a year, is it really worth giving up the neighbourhood, yard or shop you would enjoy every day?
The same applies to acreage. Do you actually need half an acre, or do you really want privacy and space between you and your neighbours? Do you need a shop, or do you need secure storage and somewhere to work on projects? Do you need to be "in town," or do you really mean within 15 minutes of work, schools and shopping?
Find the Reason Behind the Requirement
This is where a good home search becomes less about checking boxes and more about understanding why those boxes exist in the first place.
Instead of saying, "I need half an acre," tell me what you want half an acre for. Instead of "I need four bedrooms," tell me how those rooms will be used. Instead of "I need a shop," tell me what needs to happen inside it.
Once we understand the actual need, we can start looking for properties that solve it, even if they don't look exactly like the house you originally pictured.
• A large private quarter-acre lot might give you everything you wanted from half an acre.
• A three-bedroom house with a den might function perfectly as a four-bedroom home.
• A property without a shop might have the space, access and zoning to build one later.
• A house ten minutes outside your preferred area might give you the property, privacy and home you couldn't afford ten minutes closer.
When You're Stuck, Something Has to Move
There are really only a handful of levers in a home search:
Price. Location. Property.
House. Condition. Timing.
If the market has repeatedly demonstrated that your preferred combination isn't available at your budget, one of those levers probably needs to move.
• You can increase the budget.
• You can change the location.
• You can compromise on the house.
• You can compromise on the land or improvements.
• You can buy something that needs work and create what you want over time.
• Or you can keep waiting, understanding that you may be waiting for something genuinely rare.
There isn't a wrong answer. But there should be a conscious answer.
Stop Looking for Perfect. Start Looking for Right.
The goal isn't to convince yourself to buy a house you don't like. It's also not my job as your Realtor to wear you down until you finally say yes to something.
My job is to help you understand the trade-offs the market is asking you to make and figure out which ones you can live with.
Sometimes that means waiting. Sometimes it means increasing the budget. And sometimes it means realizing that the three-bedroom house on a beautiful quarter acre with a fantastic shop actually gives you 95% of what you wanted.
The trick is knowing which 5% you're willing to give up, because the best home isn't necessarily the one that checks every box on the original list.
Want to Talk Through Your List?
It's the one that gets the most important things right.
— Catherine Worthy, MBA